I always have to start off with something random to get the flow of my thoughts going because they're always so jumbled up.

As you all know I was the memorization guru until today and I realized that's because my last scene, the closer of Act I, was actually the hardest for me. Know let me say, that isn't in terms of wording, because the wording is pretty simply; it isn't because it has a huge effect on me emotionally, cause it doesnt. It's because what I say is the most surreal. On the one hand I'm no doctor, I'm not Donald Cantway, I don't know how he felt during the time he gave this comment, but, then again, in a way I do. Every time I say these lines I can only imagine how Matt must have appeared. The only imagine I can conjure up is Emmett Till. Some people may say that's a stretch, but it's not. They were both hate crimes, they were both brutually beaten to the point of no recognition (if that's the right wording). But you picture something like that and you get sick to your stomach. And you shake. And you don't now how to do the explanation any justice(this may go for Kennedy and Spencer as well). But who the hell am I to really pretend I tried saving (in Aaron's case not so much) both of these kids lives... the victim and the attacker. It's unexplainable. It touches me in a weird way that my other parts have not, and when I say those last two lines...."and I felt a great compassion......for the both of them...." That's not me acting.