Forgot to do a Final Blog

Hi guys. This might be too late, but I kinda forgot to do a final blog right after the fourth performance, and I just remembered, so here it is. I would just like to say that this was the best intensive ever (which is a completely true statement considering that I had math and French as my intensives last year). I really enjoyed everyday of the three weeks and all of the performance as well. Even though we all had the points where we messed up during a performance, it's nothing to worry about and we did absolutely amazing. The audiences were a lot bigger than I expected, and I am super grateful to have this experience. Thanks so much everybody!!!!

THE LAST MELON

Well, 3 weeks and 4 performances later- we are done! Looking back, all the days seem just to blur together. Although, I feel this is often the case with these intensives. I'm exceedingly happy that I was able to become part of this unit of the Laramie Project. I feel like we really created a family in our short time together.
Part of me, still feels as if I could've done better. As an actor, I guess I really feed off the audience, and in Laramie this is really important because you are telling your story directly to the audience. screw, the fourth wall. "WE ARE LIKE THIS" I mean for much of the performance the audience is your scene partner, and I think that is, in part, what makes Laramie so effective in getting its message across.
I wanted this experience to see how I would work in a real life senario i f I am to become an actor. Quite honestly, this was so exhausting it almost makes me second guess myself. But then I see the impact that I had on people. My proudest moment was seeing Dayne tearing up. I never thought that I could effect someone so earnestly.

I think that is why I'm drawn to acting. Acting, for me, is way to get a message across- be it happiness or love or the boundaries we draw (i.e. with gay message). There is so little happiness in this world that it's exceedingly important to loose yourself in someone else. It's very refreshing for me not to be me for even a little bit.
But the thing is that I want to do something meaningful with my life and even though I love acting, like loosing myself in a good book. I do not know if it's what I want to do with my life.

But, in the end, I don't really think that I ever will really know. I'm a strange duck, and I know that and before I die, I hope to EVERYTHING. It's a tall order, but there it is. I just never want to stop. Basically, I hope to be the Energizer Bunny personified. Though I'm already failing at this. I just want to be fulfilled in my life. No regrets and all that.

Gosh, this has gotten awfully deep--fast. But, there it is.

DJ SHADOW OUT

last post!

I am so grateful that this was my intensive and that I had the chance to be in such an amazing play. You all did an amazing job! And I think that everyone who saw the show was blown away by the fact that we were able to pull something like this together in only 14 days. That was not a small feat by any means. Of course we all made mistakes and there were things that we could have changed, worked on, and perfected had we had the time, but overall I think it was amazing.

I am really glad that I was able to meet and become friends with so many new people. This was truly a great bunch of people and I'm really gonna miss not seeing all of you every day.

I think that being in this show and dealing with the many messages that are in it has made me much more aware (about ignorant or "harmless" statements, the lack of governmental support, etc). I find myself noticing when people accidentally say hurtful things and seeing how harmful those seemingly inconsequential statements can be. I don't really know what else to say without sounding like a preachy asshole, but I would like to thank everyone in the intensive for making this one of the best experiences in my life.

wrapping it all up

hi everyone! these last 3 weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I feel like I bonded with everyone at different times, and I feel closer to everyone in the cast. I want to thank everyone for their hard work and dedication, and I want to thank Mr. L and Tock for everything they did to help us. I feel like we pulled off something incredible, that was thought to be impossible by people at school until they came to see it and were proved wrong with a piece that I believed moved and affected a lot of people. This is unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I'm glad that I got to have this unforgettable experience. Happy a nice and relaxing break everyone!

Final Thoughts

Hey guys. So, I really don't know how to sum up how I feel about this whole thing..it's been quite a ride. I'm very grateful that I got to be a part of this experience..it's something I'm going to always remember (corny, but true.) A theatre adventure unlike any other. I really did become closer to a lot of people, so that was quite rewarding. And as for the Laramie Project itself, it really did affect me. It made me contemplate issues of morality, it made me want to learn more about what happened, it made me cry when I got home (which doesn't happen too often), it made me aware, and it made me want to do something. And I think a first step in doing this is giving our donations from the dessert buffet to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I think it's really cool that we chose to do that.

I liked how we all had equal amounts of dialogue (more or less), and how there weren't really any "main characters." Because, after all, that's not important in this play. It's not about the biggest part or the most lines. Its purpose is to tell a story, something that really happened. I feel really accomplished with our performances, I really do believe that we got the message across. We need to remember incidents like this and we need to realize and accept that such things still occur. Only then will we be able to prevent them in the future.

Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you again to the cast, Mr. L, Tock, and everyone involved. Mr. Weiskopf said something that fits perfectly how I feel: You guys make me proud to be a part of this place.

I'm so glad that we were able to do this. Thank you.

show

soooo, I thought the show went great overall. We all had problems with our lines, but the audience didn't notice. Act 2 went a little slow. My hope is that we will still have that same emotion or better for today's show.

The Show's Message

Okay, so I also watched Caroline's video and I think that it is really important that we all watch this, because like Victoria and Caroline said, it really helps to hit home the fact that Matthew was a real person, not some detached figure that we talk about in a play. He was real, and I think (again repeating what Victoria said) that it is great to watch this because it brings back the intensity and the emotion that we had the first week. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=matthew+shepard+video&oq=matthew+shepard+video&aq=f&aqi=g1&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=40l840l0l980l7l6l0l4l4l0l132l214l1.1l2l0

Also, I was looking at a bunch of the comments that people had posted to this video, and it kind of reminded me about how Matthew's death is still on many people's minds, even though it happened thirteen years ago. There are some extremely distateful, ugly and downright immoral comments posted on the video, and it brings to mind Justin's line about how words can be the seed of violence. After looking at those comments, I realized that this statement is very, very true. This is why it is important to do this show: The Laramie Project is a peaceful message that advocates for a world not controlled by hate, which is what many of those Youtube comments represent.

Anyways, I feel really good about the performance tomorrow and the run in general. I know everyone is going to do great, and I think that we are really going to surprise some people tomorrow night with the amount of work that we accomplished and the powerful message of the play. Good luck everybody and break a leg!!!!!

Regaining That Intensity

When Caroline found that video, she showed it to me too. And she worded perfectly how I feel as well. We were talking about it and..it's one thing to hear about it, to read it..it's another thing to see his picture..and it's completely unreal to actually see him talking on a video. And he and his boyfriend talked about how Matthew was a member of the gay and lesbian group at the university and he said that it wasn't too active because the school is pretty conservative and all. To see Matthew and his boyfriend...it made me remember that Matt was a real person. He had a life. He had a boyfriend. And all of that was taken away from him in an instant. I wonder how his boyfriend felt. And it seems like both of them were interested in human rights and politics, like Jon Peacock says. They appear to be two genuinely kind people. I can't imagine how anyone could hurt Matthew like that.

Also, I was listening to a song tonight called "Scarecrow," which was written about Matthew. My mom had it on a CD and I remember hearing it when I was little..she told me what it was about, and that's how I sort of knew a bit about the incident before we began the intensive. I remember feeling sad, but I was far too young to really understand what happened and the significance of it. Listening to it now was really powerful, it actually made me tear up. Because I know that song, I know how it goes...but now, I really listened to the lyrics and it had an entirely new meaning. One of the lyrics that stands out to me goes like this: "Scarecrow crying, waiting to die, wondering why" This really made me think about what was going through Matt's head as he was tied to that fence. What did he do to deserve this? And then I think about the Baptist minster's line about how he hopes that Matthew had a chance to reflect on his lifestyle as he was tied there. That line absolutely sickens me. I truly hope that in that moment, Matthew did not regret being openly gay, I hope that he did not regret being who he was. Because he shouldn't be ashamed of who he was. And he shouldn't have felt he needed to act differently in order to please people, or to avoid being a victim of such an atrocious act. No one in the world deserves to be treated as Matt was, simply for being true to who they are.

Just one more thing. For me, all those emotions that I was feeling at the beginning of the intensive came rushing back tonight. Mr. L is right. As long as we remember that this actually happened, and as long as we listen to each and every word that is being said on stage, we will get that intensity back. I know we're going to put on a great show. Break a leg, everyone.

Emotions Running High

so about five minutes ago, I was on the Internet and found a video of Matthew Shepard. I was afraid to click on it because I knew that it would be hard for me to see. We've only really seen pictures of Matthew and when I clicked on the video, it was an interview with him and another boy who went to Catawba College. A reporter talked to people after a rally took place on the college's campus, and stopped Matthew and his friend to talk about the rally. It turned out that the boy was Matthew Shepard's boyfriend...they looked so happy when they said that to the reporter, they weren't afraid to show it....and it got to me. At the end of an interview, a voiceover kicked in, saying how two years later, Matthew was killed...and what REALLY got to me was when he said "This is the only footage I have of Matthew....it isn't fair." Cue the waterworks. I bawled for a good five minutes. Seeing Matthew Shepard be so happy with someone, seeing him smile, Romaine was right...his smile could light up a room. The fact that he was killed for being gay, for being who he was, I felt sick to my stomach that anyone could do something so horrible to another human being for no reason at all, only because of his sexual orientation....I can't fathom that.

The Home Stretch

hi everyone! so I thought that today was a good day today, since we got to go over lines, get some tech done, and do a full run through. The angel wings are coming together, the banner is done, the armbands are ready...all essential things that are needed to add to the power of this piece are almost done! I know that a lot of people are tired (myself included) but I think that when everything completely comes together, the power of the piece will speak through everything: the acting, the projections, the costumes and the props. I'm excited for the shows and am so proud of everyone for all the hard work they've been doing these past 3 weeks!

Another Blog Post from Liam

Hey guys. I'm not sure if we have to write a blog tonight, but I will anyways just in case we have to. So, I think today went pretty well considering the fact that none of us had ran this in two days. Yeah, Act 1 was pretty rough, but I think that as the week goes on, it will get better as we all get more and more excited for the upcoming show. The only thing that I am a little nervous about is one of my costume changes in Act 1 (the transition between Jonas Slonaker and Doug Laws, the Mormon Preacher). In that transition, I have to take off my button-down shirt, put on a white one, tuck that in, and then put on a tie, all within a span of about a minute and a half. So far, I have had a bit of trouble getting all of this on in that time span, and the closest that I have ever been to doing it was today, in which I got the tie on but forgot to tighten it or fix my collar, which was lopsided (hardly the image that a Mormon Preacher would like to have). So, today I went to Target and bought a white button-down shirt and cut off part of the sleeves (so then it's short-sleeved, which is easier to get on). Hopefully, this will work tomorrow. Alrighty then, sorry if I rambled a bit. Bye.

Excited for the Last Week

Hey guys. So, I was reading some of the other posts about how our tiredness is getting to us and how we are just saying our lines now instead of fully acting . However, I think that we shouldn't worry about it because we are heading into our last week, which is going to be stressful and nerveracking but also very, very exciting. For me at least, just the idea that we are going to be putting on our first performance in three days (wow, 3 DAYS!!!) is a little bit scary, but I know it will make my performance better just because of the sheer excitement. This prospect, I think, will put a lot of energy into what we are saying and how we act it. Personally, I am really confident right now about the show, and I am so extremely and amazingly pumped to put it on for the school. I think this week is going to be awesome. Finally, break a leg and GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!!!!

The play is coming down to all but a few days before the play, and I am not sure how to feel about it. I have been having a wonderful time here, and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to do this. I have been worried about lines recently, but I got over it because I reaffirmed my self that I knew them. I am a bit late, however, with costumes, props, etc. I apologize to the cast for slowing everyone down, and that I am trying to do the best I can with everything I have going on. Although we seem to get reprimanded by Mr. L often, the fact that we have all our lines down and most everything else done seems efficient to me. Also, One Tree Hill is fantastic.

On the death penalty

Recently, we have had a discussion about the death penalty in class, in an effort to get our minds off of the play. This has had an opposite effect on me, because I often become lost in thought about these subjects, as shown when I essentially argued myself into a circle during this discussion. I felt that is was a safe place, and I shared what I thought about the subject, relating directly to a situation as described in the Laramie project. I do not especially support the death penalty because I think that the murderer could have mental issues or other issues inhibiting the person to think straight. Also, apparently, the death penalty costs some money as well, so the money issue was not a major reason to be pro/con for the issue. I also think that if people can be corrected and give back to society, than the penitentiary system works. Also, there people in jail because of other crimes, so people still have to pay money for that as well. My main point is that if someone has the opportunity to be changed, they should receive that second chance. I am glad that we had the opportunity to have the conversation, because I believe to truly understand a volatile issue, you have to hear both sides

Liam's Blog for Friday December 9

Good afternoon. I feel pretty good about today's run. Not going to lie, I still have some costume issues to smooth out and some lines to memorize and some moments where I could go farther, but I think that we are in a really good place. Honestly, I can't wait to finally unveil this to the rest of the school and show them all of the hard work that we have put into this!

 

The only thing that I am nervous about are all of the tech, the more involved costumes(like the angel costumes), and the scenery (the fence). I feel like we are scrambling at the last minute to get all of this done.

 

Other than that, though, I feel really good. Have a great weekend everybody! 

Starting the full runs

Sorry this is late guys, it wouldn't post it at school, so I had to wait...anyways..Well, I feel exactly the same way as Jamie. It's like I'm getting to the point where I'm just saying my lines just to say them. It doesn't have the same exciting/real feel it had when I said them for the first time. It kind of feels like our tiredness is getting to us. Again, I completely agree with what Jamie said about how it'll change on opening night. When we get that audience out there, we'll have that rush and I bet we'll be great. Also, I think when we perform for an audience, we'll experience a new kind of drive/motivation. We want to get a message across. We want to tell a story. Mr. L always reminds actors to "tell the story." Well, this time, the story is real. And I believe that this one is especially important. I want our performance to not only entertain our audience, but also inform them.

Today was a tough day. I didn't do as good of a job memorizing my lines as I thought the night before so I stumbled through my interrogation scene with Liam. :D the most exciting part about this whole process has been my responsibilities off the stage. Although so far I have not fully embraced all of those responsibilities I am eager to figure out what they are and start on them. I watched the first part of the movie last night and its given me many new ideas on my monologues. Had a Selsdon moment during the morning. I got lost in my thoughts and missed my cue and on top of that, didn't hear the cast calling my name egging me to get on stage. haha I still wish I could get some more notes on something other than missing lines and technical notes. I'm getting some, but i dont feel like they help me as much as in depth character notes would. I started using all of my costumes today in the first two acts and it was a totally different experience than before. Before, when I wasn't on stage I was either zoning out, or memorizing. Today I had to run to the dressing room and completely change my clothes. It was interesting; I did discover that my tie knotting skills are greatly increased when I am under pressure.

Reflecting on a Great Four Years....

T-minus 6 days until we are performing the Laramie Project in front of a live audience. Its excited and incredibly terrifying at the same time. Mr. L seems oddly calm about this, however. I wonder if he will keep this demeanor through out next week. I doubt it, but if we really work hard this weekend with remembering blocking and reviewing our lines maybe he won't be stressed. I am so glad it is Friday, but I'm really sad that we only have technically one more week in this class. In my entire career at Hawken, I've been in acting for a full school year, and I have loved every minute of it. Maybe that's an over-exaggeration, especially when it came to the "Greek" unit, but overall, I loved my time in a year long acting class. This is my senior year, and I am very sad that in 7 days I will be done taking Mr. Larochelle's acting classes. It feels weird, because this is one of the firsts of my many "lasts" at Hawken. I will miss my classmates and teacher next year greatly and am thankful for a great four years of acting at Hawken. I am so grateful to have chosen Acting One as my art my freshman year. Without that choice, I highly doubt I would have been able to grow as much as I did on a mental and emotional level. Thank you to all that joined me for the ride.

numero cuatro

So we ran the whole play today and I am really tired. I also did the whole thing plus costume changes. I thought the first two acts went pretty well but when we got to act three everything went downhill. Everybody was either exhausted or hesitating on their lines. We all need to work on our memorization so the act can move along faster. When I transition from the funeral scene to becoming the bailiff, I realized that I would have to faster to change costumes or I will be on stage half dressed.

I think next week when we do more run through of the entire show it will become more fluent but we will also be really tired.

Hopeful

I guess I can say that we go through it. Coming away from this run through today I feel that there is still something missing, not to my characters but to the production itself. Yes I still need some costume pieces and yes I still need to go over some lines that I continue to hesitate when saying, but I still feel that the performance is not, um, I guess I will use the word....complete. Overall we all need some review, including me, and I feel that as next week comes around the nerves of tech week will transfer into a much deeper and emotional performance --- this will in turn allow the performance to feel natural and will hopefully allow the audience to deeply invest themselves in our performance. It is good that we are at the place we are now instead of say Monday because if we were doing our first run through next week I would definitely start to worry. I go into this weekend hoping to get well rested and to keep reviewing lines as I start to get excited for our final product that we have worked so hard on for these past two weeks.

Peace out A-town down....dial DD cause this dopshaw is over and out.

Everything's Coming Together

So we just got done with our first full run through of the show with most of our props and costumes in place. Under the lights, the show began to take on a more real feeling, in more way than one. The past two weeks have seen like a longer period of time compared to the usual days of classes, and I feel like all of our hard work of memorizing and tech work are now coming together to create an awesome production. It was cool seeing some faculty members be able to come and see part of when we were running Act 3, but I wish they would have come later in the day when we did the full run so that they could have gotten part of the experience from the beginning, instead of at the very end. I like how Act 3 ends on a hopeful note with the sparkling lights of Wyoming. Great job today everybody, keep up the awesome work and get some rest this weekend :)

The Story of a Run Through

So, we did it. Officially. The whole thing. Beginning to end. The whole damn thing.

For me it didn't feel all that different from yesterday. When I was in "The Crucible", which I guess I consider my first really substantial role, it was really clear when we did our run through that the pressure was on. It also was a much longer day, because (DINOSAURS) we were there for the whole school day and then some. But, with Laramie, I feel just like we're getting closer.

So, in the end, the run through felt fine. It didn't really feel extraordinary or anything, for me. The nerves have not really hit. I feel good about my costumes. I'm getting better about...okay, no, I'm still nervous about some of my entrances and characters.

So, in conclusion, I feel fine, but I still have stuff to work on.

Learn Your Lines SM

The run through of the play today was pretty good, of course there were some rough spots in ACT II and III, but we're a strong willed and hard working class that will ultimately create a master piece. ACT I is done extremely well, but I know I need to go over those lines again. A couple of things I don't like, as far as my performance is concerned, is my Alison Mears and my E-mail Writer (I need to work on those performances the most). I'm extremely proud of us, we've done so much and everyone's customs looked GREAT. I just hope we keep pushing because we really need to!

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Calls Line-Caroline H

Something doesn't feel right. And it's not just because its the 'Muddle in the Middle', because that should have started subsiding by now. There's just a disconnect with what's happening onstage. We are far from the level of intensity this piece begs for, and admittedly, part of this is a focus issue. People have gotten comfortable and careless, myself included. It's extremely discomofrting to hear people calling for lines in Act One, when we should have been off book last Thursday. I think this can be credited to the massive continuity issues we have. The momentum in Act One carries us into Act Two, and the intensity level and amount of panic feels right on. But we haven't had an opportunity to run Act One all the way through Act Three, and it's really hurting us. It's nearly impossible to establish a fluid character arc when there are giant gaps between moments. I'd really like to ignore the school's scheduled breaks, and get a focused, clean run. We would all feel a lot better, and honestly, we need it.

Friday, week 2

Today we did our first full run-through, I think we are in a good place, everyone knows all of their lines decently well, but not perfect. We have staged the whole thing and costumes and props are coming together. Now it is just a matter of getting the repetition down and bringing the show to where it needs to be, I am not afraid of the time strain anymore, I think we have things under control. By the time we reach the final performances we will be comfortably ready.

hello. so today we ran the whole thing and it felt okay, but i feel a little detached from what i am saying now. on the first couple of days, my speeches and the emotions in the speeches felt raw (in a good way) and it felt like i was feeling and saying these things for the first time. now it feels a bit as though i am just regurgitating these words that i have memorized. I'm sure that once its opening night and i have all that adrenaline that ill be more into what I'm saying. also, i probably won't be as tired. otherwise, i think were at a really good place now and will be ready for the show.

Hit the Lights

We have been rehearsing and rehearsing and nailing moments repeatedly, however, when the spotlights came on, I really struggled. I got nervous. I couldn't see anything in the audience. I panicked, and I'm pretty sure everyone could tell. I never would have thought I'd have this, but I think I'm having a mild case of stage fright.  I really need to work on that before opening night! I know it'll get better, as I get more comfortable with the lights.

A Day to Breathe

Hi everyone! I can't think of a ton to write today, but I thought I would write about what we did today. Bringing in the branches for the fence was a good way to get outside the auditorium, as Sarah said before, and also a chance, as a way, to bond as a class in a different way. It was also really fun to go back to our acting class days and play two rounds of Party Favors. I thought that those two activities were a good way to lighten the mood and a chance to bond as a class before we dove into Acts 2 and 3.
As for my costumes, I need to start looking for specific pieces to differeniate my characters from another. Overall, it was a great day!

post dopshaws!

so today i definitely felt that mid-production slump or whatever mr.l called it. I think exhaustion has gotten to all of us and I'm sure that the second I'm done posting this (its 8 o clock) I'm gonna go to bed. i am a bit worried about my second to last romaine monologue. its in this monologue that she really finds her power and I'm having trouble emoting that sense of newly acquired strength. not to mention it also sounds dumb as f*** when i swear. see? Ill get there eventually but as of now I'm feeling a bit trapped in quicksand, like nothings gonna change and I'm not gonna move. well sorry for the boring post but i really have nothing else to say. get some sleep children, we all need it!

A Message From the Queen of Improv

Who said that self-proclaimed titles don't count?

Today felt, overall, quite good indeed. I really enjoyed the improv...although I think that may already go without saying due to my jumping and general excitement. It was also nice to decompress and go outside for a wee bit. Sometimes I forget that there's even a world outside of that auditorium, and it was nice to be reminded. I hope going forward that I can really get costumes down for friday, and hopefully memorize much of my Act III stuff for tomorrow. Get ahead and what not.

Over and out.

alittle late coming in

ahh man I dislike blogging. I feel pretentious whenever I post to this blog or any type of blog for that matter.but fine ok. what do I think? I think I am very far away from feeling good about any of my monologues. Like I said before, I feel superficial while doing it and I'm gonna take not too wild of a guess and say that you guys have similar thoughts. The movie has helped a little though.
These conversations we are starting to have, although policed thoroughly, still don't give me enough assurance that it is a judgment free zone to share my opinions, because they do sometimes; a lot of the time; clash with some of the mainstream philosophies floating around the auditorium this last week and a half. This is also partly because I do not feel that I know enough about certain things to make a binding decision that says one thing or another. That being said, there are some big issues in the piece that I do not particularly lean toward ideologically. Now, this is not going to hinder my ability to act or change any relationship I have between anyone; although I can only control my own thoughts and actions. oh and this costume dilemma is slowly strangling me while the constant memorization is poisoning my water. :)

SO TIRED

Hey everybody. I am tired, just like Ja'Nae, and I already posted last night, so this one is going to be brief. I am really exicted to work on Act 3 because I feel like it will end the show powerfully and with a bang. I am a little nervous to do Aaron McKinney, not only because it is completely different from my normal personality, but also because it is very, very controversial in terms of subject matter and language. However, I think that it will be a good acting challenge in that it will stretch the extent of my acting ability. So, basically, I am pretty excited for the rest of the intensive and to do Party Favors (improv game) tomorrow like he said we would (which will provide a nice break, I think)!!!!

DJ Shadow out.

Numero tres

Ok so I'm really tired and I almost forgot to write this so, I'm going to make this quick so I can go to sleep. Now I'm starting to understand my character Sherry Johnson in act 2. At first I thought Sherry was just ignorant about the whole Matthew Shepard situation, but she actually does feel bad and I can see where she is coming from. She is just pissed off that the people didn't recognize the death of a patrolman who was killed on the same night as Matthew. Usually when a policeman or woman dies on duty, it's a big deal. There are usually ceremonies and vigils for them but instead the people of Laramie are raising Matthew on a pedestal and not the patrolman. She just thinks the patrolman should have more recognition than a small article in the newspaper. Now she does feel what happened to Matthew was terrible but she thinks everybody needs to recognize the death of the patrolman instead of glorifying Matthew.

Week 2

So, like everyone's been saying, this whole process is beginning to make us pretty tired. I feel it too, I bet we all do. But just like what the others said, this is the time where we HAVE to focus the most. And I know we can do it. I'm interested to see how Act 3 will go tomorrow.

Our conversation about the death penalty today was really striking to me. I know some other people said this, and I completely agree when I say that this is one topic I can't seem to pick one side on. I think Caroline H said something that summed up how I felt pretty well: Usually I can be pretty opinionated, but when it comes to this, I find myself wavering between both sides. I actually think having a sort of heated debate like that one was really cool. We all listened to each other, and I don't know about everyone else, but I came out of it with some totally new ideas to consider that I'd never even thought about before..so now I REALLY don't know what side I'm on. Then again, I was thinking..do you always have to be on ONE side of any given argument? Is it so bad to be in the middle, and STAY in the middle? I don't know. Just some thoughts going through my head.

I guess this post wasn't too philosophical or full of any epiphanies. But maybe some will come up later..I'll be sure to keep you updated :P

blog post for today (need to think of more creative titles)

HEY. So right now I am listening to the main theme from the film "Howl's Moving Castle," which I know sounds kind of weird, but its a great movie and I highly suggest it and the soundtrack (it's by the same guy who did Spirited Away, if you know what I'm talking about). I am also a bit sad about the fact that I have to wake up at 5:00 am tomorrow to go to swim practice, but I'll get over it. Anyways, I have to say I really impressed by the fact that we were able to run Act 2 today with not a lot of slip-ups and pretty good memorization. But, like Kennedy said, I still think that we should get to confident with what we have accomplished and start slacking off, which would only make things worse. Other than that though, I think we are doing great and I can't wait to see/experience/participate in the final product!!!!!!!!!! :)

Monday

I am starting to worry a bit that we are behind.  We only have 9 days until the show opens, and I feel like we are getting too confident, too quickly. We really need to buckle down this week and really focus on memorizing our lines, paying attention to blocking details, and to make our runs, and ultimately the performances, as fluid as possible. We can do this. We will succeed. Let's do this.

End of Week One

Okay, my internet was on and off this weekend, and this apparently didn't go through. Sorry for the delay, but here is what I wrote:

I think that when today rolled around, the entire cast was mentally and physically exhausted. Friday's have always been rough in the intensive format, but I feel that this Friday hit much harder than just your average "intensive exhaustion".  Everyone is mentally beat, but I think there is a different logic behind what we are feeling, compared to our peers in other classes. We entrench ourselves both day and night talking about arguably one of the most vile hate crimes that has ever occurred on American soil. Yes, we are our characters for only technically 8 hours a day, tops, but we have to embody the nature of the character as we memorize our lines and blocking every night. There is no way around it; we have to revisit our characters at some point after school every day. Sometimes we only have to revisit it to brush through some lines that we missed, but we still have to understand what we are saying in order to fully memorize it, which leads us to revisit the blatant sadness of the Matthew Sheppard case.

We can only embody sadness for a certain amount of days at a time, without having it affect our well being. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this journey I get to partake on with my cast, however, I am grateful for Friday.

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We're officially in this, past the point of no return as a phantom of an opera so puts it. The days are long and tiring, but then when they are done you wonder where all that time went. It just seemed to disappear into this black hole- never to be seen again. It's quite a scary idea.

Today felt very tiring. I definitely am comin' down with a severe case of the mondays, but I will be alright by tomorrow.

I'm running out of things to say... worked on lighting with those techies who keep around the auditorium just in case they may be needed in their lull between HPS shows. It's quite funny. They want something to do, but can't find anything to do. I like tech because it almost gives your brain a break, and then in a little while- you can step back from a project and be like, "ya, i painted that!" It's all very exciting.

TO DO LIST FOR MIO: watch a beloved episode of Merlin, eat a bit more, perhaps play some guitary, I'm going to start memorizin' Act III, figure out props/ hair ideas, sing to the song that's playin as I rock out a bit!

Difference in Opinions

So, today we had a conversation about the very controversial topic of the death penalty. While some were against it, some of us had mixed feelings about the subject. As always, I love how we can have conversations like this in our intensive, and not be afraid to share our opinions. Everyone made good points, and I feel like I can say what I want in this group, and not be judged for what I'm saying, which is overall the vibe that I get from the Hawken community. Today at dinner I mentioned that we talked about that topic in class since it is brought up in the show, and my twin brother who is very opinionated and open about equality for all, said "They should have gotten the death penalty". This is just one of the many opinions that were most likely spreading like wildfire when this whole case was happening.
On that note, one of the most touching speeches, in my opinion, in this show is the speech that Matthew Shepard's father gives when he grants Aaron and Russell life. He says that instead of having them die for what they did to his son, he wanted to show mercy on them and let them live so that every day that they lived, they would remember that Matthew is not alive, and remember what they had done to him every day of their lives that they were granted to live.  I completely agree with this because he wants Aaron and Russell to feel remorse for what they did to his son. This opinion goes completely against what my brother thinks so this shows how controversial this topic is, applying to this case and the other cases out there.

Today we had a conversation about the death penalty. And I'm not posting to vent or preach my position because I don't feel like this is the place for that and I really have no desire to do so seeing as my opinion as currently in the process of forming. But, I would like to say that through our debate, I was exposed to many sides of the argument that I had never thought of. Caroline brought up the position that came from an emotional place. I had never even considered this because whenever I am debating or trying to come to a conclusion about any topic, I take a purely rational stance. I completely remove myself emotionally from the situation and think, logistically, what makes the best sense. While this trait may seem helpful, it prevents me from seeing the very important side that Caroline brought up (thank you for doing so!). She made me think, how would I feel about the death penalty if someone close to me was killed? Would I want revenge? Would I only feel safe knowing that the perpetrator was gone from the earth? For a girl who hates all things emotion, I was glad to finally have to face my emotional side and learn that it can actually come in handy.

blog post #2 - Adam Wolf

As the first week came to an end, I had a very different perception of what these school days are going to be like, in part to Mr. L’s saying so. We were practicing the most tedious little sections of the play, making sure everything happened correctly. Sometimes you lucked out and did not have to do anything, letting you practice your lines, because you probably would have to memorize them for a date coming up anyway. Sometimes it was the opposite, and you had to say the same line or two, or even have to carry chairs off and onto the stage.

Although people may say that an advanced acting intensive is a blow-off intensive, every single member of this class would strongly disagree. These little tasks here and there, acting and teching, and doing so for six hours a day (and the other times for production work and memorization) add up.

With the start of Act II came these ‘hardships,’ and the start of my true acting experience. But I’m still learning to love it nonetheless. My characters have overlaps in character, so it is easy to stay in character, but difficult to remember the correct lines. But this is still the best intensive I've had here by FAR

Caroline H: Day Four-An Analysis of My Own Character

So this is pretty personal. Feel free to read on, but if you feel like you already know too much about me, you should probably click out of this :)

Throughout my life I've had a huge personality flaw. I am extremely, hopelessly, deeply empathetic with people in all circumstances. Empathy is a fantastic quality in small doses, but I just take it way too far. Most of the time this just means I cry a lot, but it also leads to me trusting people too quickly, and feeling things too deeply. It gets so bad I can't distinguish my friends problems from my own. When my friends aunt passed, I cried for two hours and I had never even met the woman. I just started feeling what my friend was feeling. Sometimes I watch sad movies, and have trouble getting out of bed the next morning. My family literally has to remind me that those are not MY issues, that the terrible things in the movie aren't happening to me. So I cry a lot. Sexy, I know. My life could be peachy, but if my friend is having a bad day,or if a movie is devastating, so am I. I take emotions too far that don't even belong to me.

It's something that I've been trying to control for a long time, but alas, easier said than done. As you can imagine, my empathetic tendencies have intensified this experience for me tenfold. I can't get through my opening lines in Act Two, because I cry every time. And maybe that's great that I feel those emotions as a person, but onstage it's not great at all. Maybe Caroline would burst into tears at the thought of breaking horrific news to her sister, but Trish Steger probably wouldn't. So right now I am really really struggling with keeping my emotions in check, and leaving them in the wings. Now the reason I am so damn empathetic, is because I am also damned passionate. Also, great in small doses, but I don't really know how to do anything in small doses. I am passionate about this show and these characters. I feel like I know these characters so well, and I feel a real kinship to all of them. So in my mind, these people are like my friends and I empathize with them so fully I can't stop myself from reacting.

So thats that! Again, really personal. But I trust everyone in this intensive. Get some rest, see you all tomorrow.

Numero dos

Okay you guys its DJ Shadow (techno beats in the background), so I'm still excited to put on this play but I'm tired and I never seem to want to leave my bed in the morning. Every morning I get up and say "I'm going to miss you mattress, but I have to go to school now".

So today we finished Act 1, had a memorization quiz and started Act 2. I was happy to finish the first act because quite frankly I was getting a little tired of doing it over and over again, but hey that's rehearsal right. Everyone has come a long way in these few short days, memorization wise. We started to work on Act 2 and it is more powerful and more complex than the first act, but all of us were so exhausted that we really couldn't get our energy up.

But I'm kind of tired of blogging so, DJ Shadow out.

(P.S. I was kind of sad that DJ shadow wasn't in the movie)

Feeling closer to my characters..and my fellow actors

I feel differently than I did before..not as emotionally drained when I go home and all. And I'm not saying that I've lost my strong feelings about the material, or that the intensity has lost its punch..I think it's that now I've learned to channel most of that energy into my performance, and I'm beginning to feel closer to my characters. I'm taking what I'm feeling personally about the subject matter and transferring it over to when I'm onstage. It's like what Nya said earlier. For certain lines, it doesn't even feel like you're acting, like you have to say this certain line in this certain way, like you have to make sure you get the meaning across to the audience. You're not thinking about any of that. You're saying the line, yes, but sometimes, what you're saying almost matches your own beliefs perfectly. I feel like this about Zubaida's second speech.

I feel like I'm talking to people that I've not had the chance to really see much this year, which is nice, but I'm also getting to know some new people that I haven't talked with much before. Like everyone else said, it really is true that I feel comfortable with our entire group, like I can easily have a conversation with anyone. Thanks for that, everyone.

My First Blog

Day Four: I finally figured out how to post on the blog! That took a while, but I am very excited to start to jot down my thoughts about my experiences. This morning, we ran the first act fully and smoothly. Everyone has done a great job so far. I figured out a way to present Reggie Fluty in a "tougher" manner, and Mr. Larochelle responded well to it.  As the days progress, my state of mind has declined a bit because of the lack of sleep I have been getting. I look forward to the weekend to catch up. I've noticed that it is very hard sometimes to see light in rehearsals if I have had a rough night, because then I am dealing with dark material in a script for 8 hours a day.  Therefore, in some cases, I have found it hard to escape from sad feelings throughout the day. However, I think that in time I will learn how to manage it better as the days progress. I can't wait until opening night!

New Perspectives

ok so i finally got this to work! so we just finished watching the movie of 'the Laramie Project' around five minutes ago, and I just thought that I would share my thoughts on it. For me, I found myself almost become hypnotized by it, almost taken aback. The reason for that is because, the opening scene IS Laramie, Wyoming. It's not a picture or a piece of artwork, it's the real thing. The people of Larmamie you can actually imagine sitting down to talk to these interviewers, and in some cases, some of the struggles they faced to get people to talk to them, i.e. when the man slammed the door in the face of someone from the company asking to speak with someone about the event. Seeing this production done in a new way and with new people gave a new spin to it. Things that we blocked were different, like the locations of interviews were depicted to a greater extent, but at the same time some people in the class found that they were acting like the people in this town, which was fasinating to me. I found myself reciting people's lines in my head from hearing them over the past few days,  and being able to see them through someone else was a really cool experience.

Overall, I thought that the movie was a good thing to watch after all the hard work we have been doing recently. I am so happy to be working with everyone and be progressing with everyone, and I know that this show is really going to affect people in a really positive way.

Day four

As the fourth day draws to a close here, my thoughts are the same as before, I still love the class, and we haven't yet really got into the heaviest emotional stuff yet. however, the class is definitely tiring, I think all of us are felling a bit worn at the moment, for me I'm sure it's related to the fact that I didn't get as much sleep as I could have the past few nights.... I'm excited to get out of act one and into new material, however, I have some LONG speeches that I'm a bit worried about....