So this is pretty personal. Feel free to read on, but if you feel like you already know too much about me, you should probably click out of this :)
Throughout my life I've had a huge personality flaw. I am extremely, hopelessly, deeply empathetic with people in all circumstances. Empathy is a fantastic quality in small doses, but I just take it way too far. Most of the time this just means I cry a lot, but it also leads to me trusting people too quickly, and feeling things too deeply. It gets so bad I can't distinguish my friends problems from my own. When my friends aunt passed, I cried for two hours and I had never even met the woman. I just started feeling what my friend was feeling. Sometimes I watch sad movies, and have trouble getting out of bed the next morning. My family literally has to remind me that those are not MY issues, that the terrible things in the movie aren't happening to me. So I cry a lot. Sexy, I know. My life could be peachy, but if my friend is having a bad day,or if a movie is devastating, so am I. I take emotions too far that don't even belong to me.
It's something that I've been trying to control for a long time, but alas, easier said than done. As you can imagine, my empathetic tendencies have intensified this experience for me tenfold. I can't get through my opening lines in Act Two, because I cry every time. And maybe that's great that I feel those emotions as a person, but onstage it's not great at all. Maybe Caroline would burst into tears at the thought of breaking horrific news to her sister, but Trish Steger probably wouldn't. So right now I am really really struggling with keeping my emotions in check, and leaving them in the wings. Now the reason I am so damn empathetic, is because I am also damned passionate. Also, great in small doses, but I don't really know how to do anything in small doses. I am passionate about this show and these characters. I feel like I know these characters so well, and I feel a real kinship to all of them. So in my mind, these people are like my friends and I empathize with them so fully I can't stop myself from reacting.
So thats that! Again, really personal. But I trust everyone in this intensive. Get some rest, see you all tomorrow.
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